


The Things We Don't Say

by Vorcha_Girl



Series: Shenga OT3: Kaidan / Zi Shepard / Vega [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Kissing, Poker Nights, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 21:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13935747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorcha_Girl/pseuds/Vorcha_Girl
Summary: Kaidan muses on his relationship with Zi Shepard, his broken friendship with James Vega, and the awkwardness of serving on a ship with them both and attending Poker nights with his ex-best friend. (Set before they get together as a trio)





	The Things We Don't Say

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the MEFFW FB Drabble Challenge for the 'Can't take it with you' prompt. I decided to write a short drabble of Kaidan musing on his relationships with Zi and Vega in the months before they get together an an OT3. This is fairly angsty at times I guess. Kaidan is missing his his best friend for reasons he can't explain. I slathered the fish metaphor on with a trowel. Oh well - enjoy!

 Kaidan watched the fish in Shepard's tank swim in lazy circles, the different species swimming as one happy group as the water sparkled around them. He hadn't understood the point of the fish tank at first, and indeed he still struggled to understand why Cerberus had installed it, but there was something very soothing about it, and he enjoyed watching the unique species moving as one when he needed to calm his nerves.

 And right night he  _needed_  to calm his nerves.

 Since returning from shore leave he'd successfully managed to avoid spending any time with James Vega, but tonight he was playing poker with him. He'd tried avoiding the game and making excuses, but both Cortez and Joker had seen through him and had insisted he come along. They were trying to patch up his busted friendship with Vega, though Kaidan could have told them it was in vain; he didn't  _want_  to fix his friendship with Vega.

 How could he be friends with the man who had fallen in love with Zi? With the woman  _he_  loved?

 Kaidan looked moodily down at his own hands, watching his biotics flutter over them like blue fire as his nerves got the better of him at the thought of seeing the handsome lieutenant. Damn him. Shepard emerged from the bathroom, plaiting her long red hair and fastening it at the nape of her neck, and he looked up, grateful for the distraction. Her amber eyes skittered around the room and landed on him, her face softening as she saw how nervous he looked.

 "So, tonight is Joker Poker, huh?" Zi asked as she tucked a lock of long red hair behind her ear, an amused grin creeping across her lips as she spoke. She chuckled. "Who came up with that name? Joker himself?"

 "It just kind of happened; Poker with Joker - Joker Poker." Kaidan grabbed his BDU Jacket off the bed and stood up, peering around Shepard's cabin for his belt. He spied it lying near the fish tank and scooped it up as he continued. "It's become a regular thing. He kept losing to James, and asked me for some tips, so we started meeting up."

 Kaidan struggled not to look up as he said James' name; they rarely mentioned the lieutenant after what had happened on shore leave. After ... _the incident_. Knowing that the young man was in love with Shepard still made him feel strange. Not angry exactly, but it made his chest tight. Even worse was knowing that that James had thought Kaidan wasn't good enough for Shepard, that he'd assumed that just because he'd hurt her on Horizon, that he would hurt her again. 

 That _hurt_.

 He and James had been best friends; poker buddies and training partners; now they barely spoke.

 "Well, I hope you win tonight." Zi followed him towards the door and slid her arms around him, the tension in his body melting away at her familiar touch. She smelled faintly of soap and shampoo, and he inhaled deeply as he hugged her back.

 "Steve cleaned me out last time," he admitted, and managed a smile at her amused snort. "But I'm sure he got lucky. This time-"

 She snickered. "Yeah, yeah, this time it will be different." Zi pressed her lips to his, her kiss affectionate. "Bet hard and bet big. You may as well. You can't take it with you."

 "Yeah," Kaidan stole another kiss, "and in the middle of a war who knows when it all might end."

 He glanced over at the fish tank again, watching as three fish of different colours cut away from the rest and swam together, swirling around each other in an elaborate dance. For reasons he couldn't say, the fish suddenly made him feel uncomfortable, and he swallowed hard, not wanting to dwell on what it might mean.

 "Damn straight." Zi gave him a playful shove towards the door, snapping him out of his daze. "Say hello to the guys to me."

 Kaidan nodded, but he knew he wouldn't; not as long as Vega was there.


End file.
